I Limited My Phone Time and You Should Too
According to a quick internet search, the average adult spends four to seven hours a day on their phone. As a millennial who used to log those kinds of hours talking on house phones with my friends, it would be easy for me to assume people are just chatting on their phones. We don’t live in the 90’s anymore and those same millennials who used to log double digit time chatting on the phone with their friends are now too nervous to call and schedule doctor’s appointments. Those averages were for screen time, which would be time spent looking directly at the phone screen.
Everybody says they don’t have enough time in the day. When you look at our phone usage habits, it would be easy to see where some cuts could be made. But no, we cling to our phones like little idols. We have categorized phones as a need and therefore, questioning them is a no-no.
I noticed the red flags in myself. I had the weekly notification for screen time usage and promptly ignored it. I’m pretty sure I noticed the red flags we all see but ignore. The same red flags we joke about online. I implemented the extra features smartphones added to “help reduce screentime.” I also never turned on particular focus settings, telling myself I would just not pick up my phone. (Go ahead, laugh, I was lying to myself.)
As I started working on eliminating more screen time for my kiddos ( screens are terrible and there is study upon study and book upon book written about this.) I should also note they don’t get much but I was working on downsizing the little they did get. I started to wonder what kind of example I was setting for them. During COVID there was a phrase conservatives used: rules for thee but not for me, which was used to describe how politicians in power would create lockdowns and rules for society to operate within their cities but they would be at liberty to break those rules. I started to question whether I was doing the same thing with my kids when it came to screen time.
I know I’m the parent and the rules I give to them don’t have to apply to me. There are different boundaries, responsibilities and agency that comes with being an adult. I understand all that, don’t get me wrong. What does it tell my kids though when I say they cannot be on screens or watch an abundance of TV because it will rot their brain but then I spend five hours watching Youtube videos? Or I spend an hour scrolling Instagram? What values am I teaching my kids when I allow my phone to suck away my time but tell them they need to use their creativity and figure their own way out of boredom?
As I was thinking through all these things and working towards limiting my own screen time, I read a book that radically changed how I viewed technology. 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke. No, this book was not a two hundred page diss on phone usage either. The author went through positives and negatives with phone usage and how the acceptance of phones in modern day society has changed how we operate as a society. He comes through with biblical insight and really gets down to the heart of the matter.
For me, I was ready to throw my phone away after the introduction. Reinke writes, “When we grab our phones we air our sense of superiority to others.”
Ironically, as I was listening to the audiobook version of the book, I had to pull my phone out to put the quote in my notes app as I was walking my dog when I heard it. I have such vivid memories of my great-uncle scolding me because I would be scrolling through my phone while I would be at breakfast with him or visiting his house. I shrugged him off as an old man who didn’t get the times. Nevermind that this was the uncle that built me the computer I started writing on.
Reinke argues that when we grab our phones when we’re around other people, we’re silently signaling to them that whatever is on our phones is more important or more interesting than the person is. I thought about how many times I had told my kiddos to wait because I was looking at my phone. I thought about how many times I have hung out with friends, all of us scrolling through different apps while we threw an occasional sentence out there. I listened to the rest of the book with rapt attention and considered the challenges Reinke gave as he encouraged the reader to use their phones less.
Overall, this book is one to read if you want to seriously consider your phone habits and whether or not they are good for you. A lot of the recommendations I wrote off right away because it would cost me more money to implement them. Reinke suggests using an iPod for podcasts or music to help distance yourself from a smart device. When this book came out in 2017, it was probably a decent recommendation and iPods were something you could still buy. In 2025 though, getting an iPod requires the type of searching and grit of antique hunters. I do not meet those qualifications.
I have been able to drastically limit my phone time though. I’m down to an average of two hours per day, most of that is spent in text messages and emails. Here’s how I’ve been able to do it.
#1—Deleted Social Media Apps
I found myself on social media too often. I remember one moment when I was plugging my phone into my car and pulling up the GPS to help me get to an appointment. Despite the fact that I was feeling pressure because I was leaving my house later than I wanted to and I was worried about hitting traffic, I opened up Instagram and took a quick scroll through a few stories. I had no business opening up social media before I put my car into drive, I was already worried about time. Opening up Instagram would only add to my problems, not solve them.
As I’ve gotten older, I already question social media and whether or not it’s a good thing. There has been study after study showing the effects of social media on kids and teenagers (and we let them have it anyway). It wouldn’t be a stretch to believe that social media has an effect on adults too. I would bet money we’ve all experienced it. I always justified my social media by what I do. I have to have social media as a writer because that’s how I reach readers. While there is truth to this, I didn’t spend much of my time engaging with readers. I spent more time scrolling.
I deleted the social media apps off my phone and have figured out different ways to post on social media and use scheduling features to pre-plan and schedule content. Is it inconvenient? Incredibly so. I think about posting one story to Instagram really quickly and it becomes a five step, seven minute ordeal. It’s in those moments though that I really think about whether or not posting the content is worth it. Sometimes, the answer is no.
#2— I Moved to a Paper Planner
While I’ve always been a notebook girl with a deep love of good pens, I haven’t been using paper systems for a while. A few years ago, I started utilizing Google Calendar more and more, especially as I had jobs in schools that utilized Google Workspace for everything. Then, when I moved to Arizona, it made more sense to me to keep using Google Calendar as I needed to input addresses for everything we did so I could get to the GPS faster. I eventually moved to a completely digital system for managing my tasks, calendar, and household. It worked, it really did. I even liked the system (and the color coordination I put in my google calendar, it was cute.)
Having a digital system just made it that much easier to stay on my phone though. I point out again, the example from my previous point. There were also times I would check my calendar and then end up on Instagram or Facebook. I would check my email and then be back on social media.
I decided to go back to paper planners. I tried a few out, found a system that works for me (Happy Planner is seriously the most customizable option without having to do bullet journaling) and now you’ll always catch me with my planner and a little pencil case filled with highlighters and pens.
#3—The House Phone
Full disclosure, we got the house phone because we got rid of the cell phone we got my oldest when I had a mama bear moment that caused me to overreact. However, as I started to make a bunch of phone calls and schedule appointments, I picked up the house phone to make those calls instead. It eliminated me from playing around on my phone after hanging up. I also learned that landline phones are more comfortable to hold.
This house phone has me rethinking who even gets my cell phone number anymore. That might be a dramatic consideration but again, as a kid of the 90’s, when people couldn’t get ahold of you, nothing happened. They just had to try again later. The world didn’t end over a call going to voicemail.
I know there are people who would argue that they always need their phone because what if an emergency happens? What if the unthinkable happens? As someone who has been on both sides of that phone call, I can assure you that a second phone call wouldn’t change anything.
Sidebar: as a recovering control freak, I think social media and easier access to people has made us feel like we have more control than we do. We think that if we’re available or have the ability to constantly check for updates, we’re the ones in charge.
The reality is that we cannot control anything and being able to answer the phone right away with the phone call doesn’t change the outcome. We don’t need to be so accessible and we’re allowed to have boundaries around our phones.
Also, those types of emergency phone calls don’t happen nearly as often as we have convinced ourselves they do. With how we feel so obligated to be constantly available you would think we are experiencing dramatic, trauma-like emergencies on a daily or weekly basis.
We’re not. Our constantly connected world makes it feel like we are, but we’re not. It’s okay to be more present with those around us instead of those through our phone.
In fact, it would probably be better if we did exactly that.