How to Write an Essay
If any of my students are reading this, they might feel like they are back to sitting in my class. Whether or not that is a good thing is probably a different discussion though.
Whether or not you’re a former student of mine, this is a topic we need to talk about. I wouldn’t think we would need to, schools have only gotten more rigerious and educational over the past ten years, right? With all the technology available, we should be raising standards, right?
Wrong. After sitting with my former students and seeing education in my own kiddo’s school, and watching public school classrooms, one thing is abuntently clear to me.
Nobody knows how to write anymore.
I don’t say this to be insulting. It’s been something that has been nagging at the back of my mind for a few years now. I cannot do this in math, but in the real world, I pick up patterns pretty quickly. There have been countless video games I have ruined for myself because I figured out the system or formula the game was built on and figured out the rest of the game. It is incredibly hard for me to continue to play something when it repeats the same pattern over and over again just changes the physical location of the pattern. Now, most video games are made this way. Which is why, in video games, I need a really good storyline to keep my interest. Very few video games have good storylines though because that isn’t the point of video games. Good storylines are meant for books. Good storylines are meant for magazines and editorials.
The thing that has been nagging me for a few years is the fact that now books and magazines have become formalized in order to ensure sales. I could create whole checklists of content, troupes, and expectations. Then I could take current popular books and all of them would hit every item on the checklist. This formulaic process to ensure sales has only ruined the quality of the stories themselves. The formulaic process has also emboldened people, who have no business writing, thinking they can (and should) write a book because they are popular enough to have people buy the book. A lot of influencers have written terrible stories just because they have seven figure follower numbers on social media sites. Sometimes, it isn’t even the influencer writing the book, it is a ghostwriter. Are we hiring terrible ghostwriters or are we creating unrealistic timelines in order to quickly pump out books in order to quickly make money?
I digress. What does this have to with writing an essay? Nothing, but realistically, the current state of writing is at a critical level and it’s depressing. This is something that should be talked about more. However, the books sell and I can tell you why they are selling at the rate they are selling, but again, another point for another day. I’m going to stop myself there before I go on other tangents.
I will admit, someone could argue a formula for stories. That the thing I am complaining about is actually supposed to be this way. I don’t consider this a formula though as more of a process to writing. There is a process to all stories, inciting incident, rising action, falling action, climax, resolution, all those terms have a place in writing books. However, when the story is good and the story is well written, the formula goes to the back burner and the story shines. If you’ve ever read a good story, you know exactly what I am talking about. It’s the difference between reading a story, not wanting to put it down, and being able to answer questions about the climax after reading and turning the page in a book and knowing what is going to happen in that chapter because the formula is what stands out more.
Why does this matter? I wonder if books have become more formulaic because we (in general) don’t know how to write something as basic as essays anymore. I remember disliking writing essays because of how formulaic they were and wishing I could have some creative writing in my english class so I could have more room creatively. Yet, based on what I am seeing in current culture, we cannot write basic essays. If we cannot write essays, which have a formula and a reason for that formula and we should stick to that formula, how we can expand and creatively roam in other writing formats? It would like be like trying to sprint before you can even walk.
In writing, there are areas that have formulas and steps and in those instances, they should be followed. However, the hill (one of many) that I will die on is that books should not follow formulas. However, if you cannot do the basics well, you will not be able to do the advanced stuff well. In this instance, essays are the basic stuff and books are the advanced stuff. I would even argue that the formula we have seen in writing books these days is because publishers are knocking on the doors of popular influencers to try and get sales instead of caring about a good story. You can’t tell a non-writer to write a book without giving them a template or formula to follow.
Dang it, I went on another tangent. Seriously, this can be a TedTalk for another time. It does set me up perfectly though to explain how to write an essay. Essays do have a formula. They have a blueprint. They have a template. This is good because essays are what I would call basic writing skills. Everybody should be able to write an essay. I don’t care if you like writing the essay or not, you should be able to write a decent essay on a topic you know something on. Essays are basic writing skills. Just like sentences and paragraphs are basic writing skills. If I can string a sentence together when I speak, I should be able to put together a stronger sentence when I write because I have more time to put into it. I can put more thought into my words when I am writing. Your wanting to write the essay, the sentence, or paragraph is not-withstanding. Your feelings don’t matter here. Just like we’re all expected to have basic math skills, we should have basic writing skills.
The blueprint for an essay is very simple.
Topic (Thesis Statement)
Points to Support Thesis
Introduction
Conclusion
Now, this blueprint is how we should be thinking about the essay. This is not the order that the essay goes in. However you cannot write an introduction without an idea of what the whole essay will be about. You cannot know what the essay will be about without the points that will fill the body paragraphs. You cannot have know what points will fill the body paragraphs without a topic or thesis statement. All of this applies to the conclusion as well. Start with working on the body of your paragraph first and then work on your introduction and conclusion.
I hated outlines as a student in high school and I definitely thought they were busy work, designed to make assignments last longer and give the teacher more ways to grade us on things that didn’t matter. However, now that I am older and have been writing for over a decade, I know now that outlines matter. It doesn’t always have to be written down, but outlines give you the map to what you’re writing about. So, start at the beginning, outline (map) your way through your essay. Take your topic, figure out three points you will use to prove or support your thesis, and then wrap it all up nicely at the end. Any type of brainstorming can also be your outline. It doesn’t have to have roman numeral involvement and look like your essay but in bullet point form.
Essays should look like this:
Introduction- this is where your topic is introduced. State your thesis, give a good hook to engage the reader, keep it short and sweet. Introductions should be five sentences max.
Body Paragraph #1- Point number 1, this is the most important, most supportive, best point. This first paragraph should be the starting QB in the game of proving/supporting your thesis. This should be the home run point. This is the best friend to your thesis. This is the point that if you see your thesis on a walk somewhere and don’t see the point with them, you get confused. Did I give enough metaphors? Are we understanding? The first point needs to be the best case, best argument, best support.
Body Paragraph #2- the weakest point. I’m about to date myself with this one, but this point needs to be the weakest one, the one that would get dropped through the floor in that game show, The Weakest Link. Now I will say, all three of your points should be strong, that is how you craft a good, compelling, and convincing essay. Your essay is the big leagues though and out of your three points, there is one that will stand out as barely making it. If the first point is your Tom Brady, this point is your Terry Bradshaw. Not saying it isn’t a good point, but it is the weakest of the three you have. Stick that one in the middle, people tend for forget what happens in the middle, you always put the weakest one in the middle.
Body paragraph #3- the final point, but the second best point out of your three. We stick the second best point here because you want your reader to walk away from your essay thinking that you made solid points all around and that you were compelling. While some people like to rank their points in order of effectiveness and support, I tend to think of body paragraphs like bad news sandwiches. You start off with something good, something positive, stick the bad news part in the middle, and then finish off with something good so that the person receiving the bad news doesn’t walk away feeling terrible. This point is the point your reader will walk away from most along with the first point. Stick the second string QB right here. This is your relief pitcher. Do I need to keep going with the metaphors? Hopefully this is making sense.
Conclusion- Wrap it up nicely. This should be five sentences. This is where you restate your points and show how they support your thesis. Keep it short, sweet, and maybe even leave the reader with something to laugh about if appropriate.
This is how you write an essay. Now please, go out there and write essays that shock your teachers and professors.
Oh, I should also mention, paragraphs are five to seven sentences long. Due to a conversation I had with some friends a year ago, I found myself googling how long a paragraph was (because apparently basic writing mechanics can change over time) and google told me that paragraphs are three to five sentences.
No. No. No. There is no point that can be made well in three sentences. Do the world (and yourself) a favor, stick it out to five sentences (minimum) and really land that plane.
Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash